Finally, a sequel to the best-selling book of all time. 

Holy Bible II, complete with rainbow pride bookmarks. 

It’s taken a few thousand years, but the long-awaited sequel to the Bible is finally here. Holy Bible II is very different to its predecessor. There’s no Matthew, Mark, Luke or John. There’s no ark. There’s no Moses. There isn’t even a Jesus. Best of all, there’s no racism, sexism or homophobia. Oh, and no stonings. All you get in this Limited-Edition release is a bunch of new commandments. Like ‘It’s okay to be gay’, ‘Thou shall have an abortion if thy need’, and ‘Thou shall not grab others by the pussy’.  

These new decrees are repeated on every page along with a small instruction encouraging the reader to, ‘Tear and share: Remove this page and insert into a copy of Holy Bible 1’. 

Co-author Graham Johnson says, “The Ten Commandments are the world’s oldest listicle so we were surprised it took God this long to get them updated for current times. We were even more surprised He chose us to do it.”