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For 2,000 years the Bible has said we need to stone our daughters to death if they have sex, that homosexuality is wrong and that women should be repressed. It is time we addressed these outdated decrees and pray for things to change.

£25 each
£200 for all ten


Finally, a sequel to the best-selling book of all time. 

Holy Bible II, complete with rainbow pride bookmarks. 

It’s taken a few thousand years, but the long-awaited sequel to the Bible is finally here. Holy Bible II is very different to its predecessor. There’s no Matthew, Mark, Luke or John. There’s no ark. There’s no Moses. There isn’t even a Jesus. Best of all, there’s no racism, sexism or homophobia. Oh, and no stonings. All you get in this Limited-Edition release is a bunch of new commandments. Like ‘It’s okay to be gay’, ‘Thou shall have an abortion if thy need’, and ‘Thou shall not grab others by the pussy’.  

These new decrees are repeated on every page along with a small instruction encouraging the reader to, ‘Tear and share: Remove this page and insert into a copy of Holy Bible 1’. 

Co-author Graham Johnson says, “The Ten Commandments are the world’s oldest listicle so we were surprised it took God this long to get them updated for current times. We were even more surprised He chose us to do it.” 


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Holy Bible II is one of several fictional absurdist books featured in Penguin’s recently published Rejected Books and comes from the authors of Images You Should Not Masturbate To. 

See Jesus spruke his new book and updated ten commandment candles. 

See the video here

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